The World at your Feet, the Change* in your Hands

Swept up by the Whirlwind : Pakistan [1]

Hang on to your seats, this is going to suck you into a vortex of my mind.

So the past 6 weeks I was here, I felt like I've been carried and flung about by a whirlwind. A whirlwind that is the city, the family in Pakistan, the AIESECers, the culture, the social disparity, the headline news that we read every morning, the politics! Oh the politics have been insane here!

But one thing I've promised to blog about is the culture and how inter-gender relations are like. So from what I understand, most typical Pakistan families really discourage daughters from talking to "strange" men outside of the family. Therefore most guys here are deprived of talking to girls nearly all their life until they go to a co-ed University... or get married. And if they marry it's from within the family. [Now marriage in Pakistan is saved for another day, being a WHOLE other compartment of unsolved Pakistani mysteries.]

I go out in the streets and try to ignore the ogling of men that sit in the streets, feeling as if their eyes are trying to burn a hole through me. And then later sit at a table with AIESEC guys and observe them checking out girls. Albeit not very discreetly, so it was quite hilarious! But jokes aside, being on the "stared at" end, makes me feel like an object to be admired or criticised, or RATED? Where's the humanity and respect for each other? Guys rate women, heck women can do the same. So far I've only given a high of 5 out of 10. [Got high expectations, can't help it]

But I contradict myself. Guess from now onwards I shalt not judge, nor admire, just notice if it's worth noticing :)

So that's one part of the experience which is not so great. In work, it's a bit of a contrast. I find that initial contact, the guys tend to be more distant. Back in Singapore, most often it's eye contact, a smile, "Hi, Hello," a handshake, a joke shared, a laugh, and finale of ,"See you around!"

Here, it's eye contact, "Salaam aleykum" a nod, and then turn to talk to my male boss beside me. Or whichever guy is standing nearby. I'm left with my mouth half-open, a question at the tip of my toungue -- silenced.

And the exceptions to this occur when you are related within the family, or if the guy has studied in University or studied overseas where they're more open to plutonic relationships like the rest of the world is. A common conception is that if a girl is close to a particular guy, i.e. seen walking or sitting with each other (in office and outside) people would assume they're having a personal relationship.

To the man in the street, I could pass for a Pakistani. A conservative, honourable lady dressed in a hijab... and then she's seen walking out from the apartment building with 5 boys ahead of her. I suppose the conclusion wouldn't be flattering.

In retrospect, I may the one being stereotypical. Perhaps not all would think that way. Perhaps it's just all in my head. Yet why are they still staring?

posted by Zafirah @ PM 04:03