The World at your Feet, the Change* in your Hands

Pakistan - Identity (Crisis)

So I've spent more than 2 months here, and having a Pakistani mother (who spoke Malay as her mother tongue, grew up in a Malay village in Singapore in the 50's, went to a Malay school till her 'A' levels, and married a Malay man, and I've never heard her speak a word of Urdu... yet still believes she's Pakistani by race) I can pretty much PASS for a Pakistani, whether I like it or not.

Several instances have pointed this out to me:

1) I get off the phone, totally cofused because someone just assumed I was Pakistani, even when I spoke totally in ENGLISH, "I'm sorry I don't speak Urdu" and then the other person replies SLOWLY... in URDU.... like as if that would make any difference. And then I try to understand... and fail miserably... and he gives up on me.

I don't think I'm doing very well in branding the company I work for....

2) My new-found-friend-taxi-driver Mr. Isaac says I look like Pattan cos of my fair skin accentuated even more when I'm wearing off-white kurti and scarf. [For those non-Pakistani, the Pattan, otherwise known as Hindkowans, are people from today's North West Frontier Province, and are generally fair, good looking people. For more info: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hindkowans ] And then after researching about the area, I realise why... because I AM half Pakistani/Pattan/Hindkowan... yet still so Singaporean...

I think I'm heading for an identity crisis. Nontheless, I'm still good looking :)

3) I feel I have to make a comment on the recent political situation, i.e. Benazir's bomb blast. And I wrote this a few days ago fresh after the massacre:

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"Rude awakening: Nearly 150 dead after the blasts here in Karachi. Benazir, oh Benazir, what were you expecting??

You've clearly received the threats, yet aimed to have 1 million people rallying for you for 9 friggin hours across town.

Personally I opine that it's completely irresponsible. Bring democracy into Pakistan. And I quote Andrew: she's had two chances! If she never did it then... what makes her think she can do it now? To which I totally agree. Too much trouble for one woman.

So what's different about Benazir? Some age & wisdom? Using 1 million human shields... Striking backdoor deals... Charming the foreign governments with good public speaking skills...
You've got talent Benazir, but I don't think it's enough for Pakistan.

She seriously needs to go. I'd pick Pervez over Benazir anyday...

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And in retrospect, I would never feel comfortable writing about politics in Singapore. From the paranoia of being "blacklisted" by the ISA, under Internal Security Act. Here in Pakistan, the media is more than occasionally biased and emotional in their reporting. Freedom of press and opinion is surprisingly that... FREE, in comparison, Singapore is JUST starting to enjoy it, bit by bit.

Of course here in Pak, we run the risk of being kidnapped or killed depending on your political affiliations and plain ole luck... Some truth to "Pakistan: the most dangerous country in the world" according to a recent Newsweek article.

Whatever the political situation is, however much bad press we get in the news, life goes on.

People still getting married.... Parties still get organised... [With a vengeance! now that Ramzan in over]

Supreme Court still deciding if Pervez was allowed to stand for Presidential Elections after 2 terms as President....

AIESEC conferences still going on next week.... [I still think we should have FACI t-shirts!!!]

Boss still not giving me feedback [to which I say F*CK it, I'll pave my own path to learn what I want, how I want]

posted by Zafirah @ PM 07:18